Loneliness on Valentines Day:
10 Ideas to Get Through the Day

Loneliness on Valentines Day can be difficult especially after the death of a spouse or a divorce.  The holiday, which is traditionally associated with love and romance, can be a painful reminder of your loss.  Memories of past gifts or adventures may seem bittersweet.  There are lots of ways to move through Valentine’s Day with greater hope and confidence. The most challenging part of the process is to feel motivated to try something new or to make a plan.  Make a commitment now, that you will do something to care for yourself in a way that will bring soothing.

As with other holidays or anniversaries, without planning, a significant date can sneak up on us and undermine whatever peace or adjustment we may have thought we made to life after loss.  Planning ahead, can help us get through a day that threatens crippling emotions and loneliness.  So don’t let Valentine’s Day or any other significant date sneak up on you.  Here are some ideas:

1. Connect with friends and family: Reach out to loved ones and make plans to spend time together, even if it's just over a video call or phone call.
2. Volunteer: Helping others is a great way to feel good about yourself and can provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment. You can volunteer through an organization such as a hospital, library, food bank or humane society.  There are so many places looking for volunteer help.  Or “volunteering” could be as simple as seeing a need and offering to fill it. It may be offering a neighbor a ride to the doctor, delivering some baked goods to cheer someone or staying with someone’s children so they can make a quick trip to the grocery store.
3. Pay it Forward:  Just for fun, offer to pay for the coffee for the next person in the drive through.  You can do the same thing at a fast-food restaurant, or at the grocery store.  You will make someone smile and they will be sharing a story with everyone they talk to about how you brightened their day.
4. Pursue a hobby or interest: Take the time to do something that you enjoy, whether it's reading, painting, cooking, or something else.
5. Practice self-care: Take care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being by engaging in activities that you enjoy, such as exercise, meditation or hobbies. Plan to do something that makes you feel good, like a relaxing bath or schedule a manicure or a massage.
6. Devote the day to being God’s Valentine:  How can you show him your love and gratitude?  Journaling, spending time with God, sharing your thoughts and feelings with Him can be a way to bring healing to your soul.
7. Treat yourself: Treat yourself to something special, such as a movie, a spa day, or a special meal.
8. Honor your loved one by visiting their grave, lighting a candle in their memory, or donating to a charity in their honor.
9. Write a letter to your loved one, expressing your feelings.
10. Find new ways to connect: Explore new ways of connecting with others, such as joining a club, taking a class, or finding an online community.

Remember, it's okay to feel sad or lonely on Valentine's Day, but it's important to seek out support and find healthy ways to cope. If you're feeling overwhelmed, consider reaching out to a mental health professional for help

Loneliness on Valentine's Day Can Be A Difficult Time

Valentine's Day can be a difficult time to navigate when you are dealing with grief. Although celebrating the day is not mandatory, you might find yourself thrown into a mix of emotions as you are reminded of what and who you have lost. It can be a painful reminder, yet it is also important to remember that your feelings are valid. You are allowed to feel whatever you are feeling on this day and our hope is that you can choose to remain understanding and gentle with yourself.

Here are some additional things that you can do to combat loneliness on Valentines Day:

1. Acknowledge your feelings

2. Lean on your support system

3. Spend time outdoors

4. Focus on the positive – make a gratitude list and then challenge yourself to add more to the list

5.  Spend some time in prayer, thanking God for His presence

6.  Buy yourself flowers or chocolates

7.  Surprise a friend (or stranger!) with flowers or a gift

8.  Make a Valentine's Day card for someone in your life

Valentine's Day does not have to be a day of sadness. With some preparation and a plan, you can move through Valentine’s Day with greater confidence and hope.  Whether you are single, in a relationship, or grieving the loss of a loved one, know that you are not alone.

Remember that it's okay to take things one day at a time and to be kind to yourself. Try not to compare your life to others.  Focus on the positive aspects of your life and the things that bring you joy.

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